We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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