You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
