The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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