i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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