TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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