I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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