She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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