Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
