from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
