She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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