Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize