So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
