I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize