dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
