My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize