She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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