He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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