Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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