I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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