reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
