And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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