You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My dad is sitting where you rode me
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
