I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
