She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
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