fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
