I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
this hospital has no fireball
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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