I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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