If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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