I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
