No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
