i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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