did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
