I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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