More tranny stories later!
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
