Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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