Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
