pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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