please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
