No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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