I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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