I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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