Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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