how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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