I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
