you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.