Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow