3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
