Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Randomize
