Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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