I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid