PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
