Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
