My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
