I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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