she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
