I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
well you can't waste a boner
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
