Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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