I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
