so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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