Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Your cock deserves a montage
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
