is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
