What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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