Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
