I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
