if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
it hurts more in the daytime
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
