its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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