well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
