I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
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I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
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WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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