absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
