Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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