I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
