I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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