i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
