Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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